Key word searches

So while I await the mental energy to continue my series on redemption, lets me be a good model internet citizen and look at what people are asking on search engines that bring them to my blog

sentences defining revelation

Not sure what they are looking for, so I'll address Revelation the book and the definition of revelation
Book of revelation:
There is not pre-tribulation rapture (or mid, or post really)
The beast and false prophet and Satan get beat
God wins
Everything is great
The end!

Definition of revelation - Knowledge we obtain that we are incapable of obtaining on our own because we are too incredibly dense to get it ourselves on our own (or too totally depraved and blinded as my Reformed friends will)

augustine most influential western theologian

Yes. And I cry every night and ask God to forgive Augustine for his errors and the problems he created....

calvinism weak

Amen brother! Or sister if it is one of the female persuasion, and if it was a girl, I would like to get your number because you clearly fit the standard for Biblical dating (see A Biblical Guide to Dating for more great wisdom)

And hey, this goes good with the Augustine search

how many laws did the Israelites have to follow under Moses

Depends. First off, is all of Genesis-Deuteronomy genuine material dating from the time of Exodus, or did some other sources and traditions not based upon the Exodus get into the picture? If all of it is genuine, it is 613 at least. If it isn't genuine it gets more complicated. Then we must ask did Moses even truly exist? And if not, the answer is simple, zero. But if so then we have to ask, did ever single law that Moses give get recorded? If so, then it is at most 613. However, if not, it could be even thousands on them, which falls just a couple millions short of my very conservative fundamentalist friends... And they would hate 90% of what I just wrote (before y'all call me a child of the Beelzebub, do not worry, I think it is all genuine)

southern baptist belief eternal security

Hey, talking about very conservative fundamentalists..... Not really, the whole of them are good guys (hoping not to receive a tongue lashing from anyone).

But in simple terms, yes they do believe it, and they all fall away and are going into the fiery pits of hell for coming to believe that*.... How is that for irony



* - After three bashings, I think it is proper me to stop... for now....

wright

Wright is wrong, no matter what you hear, especially from that Chris Tilling fellow, whose name sounds somewhat like Tillich, which obviously shows you can not listen to a word he says

what is the major theological purpose of the passage of Adam and Eve

That whole thing about sin and death.... pffff.... it is just a facade. The real purpose of it is to say that it is all the woman's fault and that they were made to serve men.....

[Hey, "calvinism weak" girl (if there is indeed one), can I still get your number even though I made a horrible chauvinist comment? I promise you I am a good guy (I mean we do both share the correct doctrine, which must mean I am good guy).]

2012 Christian theology

Fortunately, I prophesied that someone would be curious about this question, hence my previous post about how the world will end in 2012, so their questions were answered. But just as a bonus since I have some many other predictions for 2012:
I am sensing.... I am feeling.... that someone will be hurting... they will be struggling with their purpose. They will be asking if it is God's will to send money to a certain ministry.... "Weddle is the next Wesley, only better" ministries... And if you call in a donation, you will receive a free white prayer cloth with green ooze and specks (which is a sign of the green that you will be blessed with) to pray with you the next time you pray about donating to "Weddle is the next Wesley, only better" ministries.

purpose of christian theology

To confuse the heck out of you

what is having theology

It is sort of like a disease. Really, its more like diarrhea. A lot comes out, but nothing solid usually. And it generally stinks. Plus some other comparisons, which I'll leave the reader to figure out ;)

comparison of theology of paul and rudolf bultmann for

Paul is a great, great mind, and rudolf bultmann was Joel Osteen before Osteen was, but only a pitiful totally depraved man in comparison to Osteen (see A word of clarification for more on how you could potentially compare Osteen and bultmann, even though it would sully Osteen's good name)

christian youth group teachings acceptance chuck norris

Yes. Accept Chuck Norris teachings, younglings, or face the roundhouse kick of Chuck (only exceeded by the wrath of God) you will

(Yeah. The Yoda thing is stupid, but it is the only way I could figure out how to include the youth group thing)

chuck norris methodist

Yes, because he is perfect, and all perfect people are entirely sanctified, and all entirely sanctified people are Wesleyan, and all Wesleyan people are United Methodist*

* Whatever your logic classes say, this was perfectly sound argumentation

total depravity scriptures

Why ask? You are probably too totally depraved to understand them (as opposed to being only somewhat totally depraved)

who and what is a theologian?

Someone who thinks they know something about something they can not see but in fact they know nothing

total depravity wrong

Are you a female? If so, whats your number?

what to do when you are a bad person

Repent and trust in God through Christ for your salvation

(hey, I can be serious at times)

psalms 106:30-31 where phinehas works credited to him as righteousness

No, because clearly Psalms is Old Testament, therefore it doesn't apply, you Judaizer, you!

is owen weddle the coolest and hottest person ever

Yes he is. Cooler than Chris Tilling, Ben Myers, Jim West, Karl Barth, rudolph bultmann, N.T. Wright. More attractive than them might I add. Oh, as an added bonus, he is the most humble person too.




Disclaimer: Owen Weddle reserves the right to be facetious, sarcastic, arrogant, humorless, or speak of himself in the third person without any sense of sincerity behind it in anything his says. Owen Weddle is not liable for any comments that offend as they do not necessarily express the views or opinions of Owen Weddle and as Owen Weddle's tongue is rubbing a whole in his cheek. In addition, Owen Weddle reserves the right to leave any typographical or grammatical errors he sees because he doesn't care to correct his many countless mistakes and is too lazy to proof read what he writes for consumption on blogs.